Professional relationships, whether with co-workers or clients, are an integral part of any successful business. These interactions should, if at all possible, make everyone coming away from any meeting feeling better about themselves, the project, and each other. Granted, this may not be possible in every instance, but it is the outcome we should always strive for.
Nowhere is this more important than meetings with new, prospective, or existing clients. One of the best ways to make someone feel good about meeting with you is to have them leave the introduction or the appointment feeling respected and, yes, a little smarter.
We can’t always make someone more intelligent, but we can, usually, at least make them feel smarter. There are ways to do this that are not manipulative but are actually respectful and honest.
Gretchen Rubin, Yale Law School graduate, blogger, speaker, and author of several best-selling books, including
The Happiness Project, has several suggestions that we can all use to make those we are meeting with feel smart and respected.
Her first suggestion, and one that you have heard me bring up many times, is take notes. As I’ve said before, taking notes, especially in a leather-bound or other quality notebook, communicates that what the person has to say is important. And, as we’ll see in just a moment, taking notes has other benefits as well.
During the meeting, the key is to make someone feel good about their conversational contributions. One way of accomplishing this is to refer back. By this, Ms. Rubin means to bring up something they had said previously and dig into it a little deeper with pertinent questions. Not only does this help provide more context to your conversation, but it demonstrates that you’re paying attention. By the way, this is where taking notes comes in handy. When the person you are listening to says something of interest, make a special mark next to it in your notes so you can come back to it later.
Ms. Rubin’s second suggestion is Encourage them to finish a thought. By this, Ms. Rubin suggests that whenever a speaker starts a conversational point with a phrase such as “a couple of things to consider”, or something similar, if they get side-tracked and fail to bring up the other point, steer the conversation back and encourage them to finish the thought.
In How to Wins Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie recommends that you use their names frequently. Not only does it show respect, but people generally like to hear their own name.
A third suggestion of Ms. Rubin’s is Ask for advice. There is no better way to make someone feel respected than to ask for their advice.
As we talked about last week, not only is asking questions important to create a fuller understanding of a client’s issues or problems also makes your client feel smarter. It makes them the expert whose input is valued.
Of course, it’s always important to listen more and talk less in business meetings. Don’t dominate the conversation. Even if you’re in the position of teacher, always endeavor to fashion the encounter as a two-way conversation.
A couple of final thoughts. Not only should you put away your phone but make it obvious that you are turning it off and putting it away. This communicates that nothing is more important than this meeting right now.
Lastly, pay attention to your body language. Be sure to lean-in when they speak, make eye contact, and smile.
To quote Adam Grant, Wharton Professor, psychologist and TED Talk speaker, “Good communicators make themselves look smart. Great communicators make their audience feel smart”.
